Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Cultural Learnings make for Great benefit

It was a modest proposal, really. "I want to eat a three month old baby." Of course in context it was a bit more ridiculous, as it was said:

A) in a pub
b) by a large Irish woman
c) at a table entirely inhabited (barring myself and Kathryn of course) by Catholic school teachers
d) I was eating a kidney pie

Then I found myself engaged in a conversation with one of these teachers about whether Axl Rose was a necessary member of Guns 'n' Roses (as an aside I must say that he most certainly was a pivotal member of the group at its apex. While this did not help to slow his fast spiraling descent into abysmality, he was the essence of the band. A phoenix that brought them to full glory and to full suckiness, only they did not rise again, which I suppose makes him quite unlike a phoenix, but all this of course is neither here nor there). The problem is that these Catholic teachers just don't get Glam Rock at its finest.

The next night I found myself in a park with a fair going on. It had the usual rides and fair games. At these fair games though you could win liquor and cartons of cigarettes at the ring toss...just what the kiddies need. There was even a portable casino. In the Casino Kathryn and I learned just how fast we could get rid of those stupid two pence pieces.

At the end of the night we all stood around a bonfire, upon which the effigy of Guy Faukes was burned. To sum it up in the words of one astute Briton: "It a day that we all celebrate a man that failed to blow up Parliment even though we wish he did." As his body burned we all learned the dangers of blowing up Parliment...we also learned that our flasks were empty.

So, I have learned and hope to spread these thing back to my home culture. The Catholics should eat more babys (or maybe just the Irish) and learn a splash more about heavy metal between the years of 1980-89 (to avoid the problem as I see it of too much Black Sabbath and not enough Warrant). Fairs should give out liquor before people go on the gravitron. Finally, burning a man in effigy every year since 1605 because he was pro-Catholic can be fun when mixed with booze and gambling, but one must ask is it any better than eating a baby?